Sunday, November 30, 2008

yellow and black pills

i'm finally starting to feel normal again. the stress levels are still high, this time due to school work and upcoming events. SUPER STOKED... because something just happened. BOOYAH.

anyway tomorrow i have a 7 hour break. so i will either go home and sleep and study. or stay in school and study. either or.

Saturday, November 29, 2008

fluids

crrntly in the bsmnt of UTM, doing some notes and listening to some the go! team.

hrm.. i dont wanna stay here too late. i should get reading. i will update this when i get the time.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

twenty-six

im being haunted by things you are saying.
this is retarded.
i dont want her in my mind at all... dont put her in my mind.

BBL.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

cranberry

i have a doctors appt on friday.
im kind of scared... i hate doctors offices. they always make me feel like something is wrong with me, and that i am going to die. i have to ask like 3 different things, and my mind is racing right now.

my mom is coming on back on thursday night. im kind of excited. i cant wait to see her and the rest of my family. Mississauga is a bit too quiet without them here.

ugh i dont wanna go to school today. i have a serious assignment due in a hot second.

irregardless, im starting to like that neyo song - miss independent.

yeah i know, im always delayed on the black mainstream music stuff. shut up.

late night celine

on nights i go to bed early, it totally kicks me in the ass and makes we wake up a few hours later with some intense anxiety.

now im kind of just up to pass the time, waiting for the next sleep wave to hit.

today is tuesday, i like tuesdays.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

the zephyr song

last night was intense.
i passed the fuck out at 9, like i was in grade 2 or something.
it was retarded. i woke up at about 1 am because of my dad yelling on the phone to my mom, who is like half way across the world in a different country. i think i called calvin, but i am too tired to recall.

i am up, and its about 8 am now. my dad came into my room with a wad of cash, telling me to eat at mcdonalds with my sister, and then to go and buy some jasmine rice. i think i'm going to be in the basement all day today folding laundry. i put a load in, before i went to bed.

i had the most retarded dream last night. i was at this sketch hotel with this guy who was telling me how he cant have sex because of the failing economy. i saw a stand up comedy set. then i was at school, driving people home, cussed people off. my school all of a sudden turned into a tropical climate, the the pub was like a little tiki lounge, and people were eating flavored banana chips. kieron was there telling me about his sauna. weird.

Friday, November 21, 2008

breathe in

blogging via my living room in nothing but one of my dad's tee's and some wet hair.

this week is finally over. thank god.
tonight will be dedicated to me.
i have already taken a long hot shower, and am currently in the process of doing some extensive overdue laundry.

tomorrow i work at 1-5. with my baby sorina : )

anyway, im smelling pretty fly. gotta do some laundry. ttyl.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

bffs

Can you answer 40 questions about just 1 person ?
Don’t change the friend half way through .


1) What’s their name?
calvin

2) Does he or she have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
no, cuz he's a loser.

3) Do you get along with this person all the time?
we bicker, but thats just us

4) How old is the person?
19 and a bit

5) Has he/she ever cooked for you?
no, i wouldnt trust anything he cooks

6) Is this person older than you?
by like a month

7) Have you ever kissed this person?
yes

8) Are you related to this person?
nope

12) How many times do you talk to this person in a week?
a lot, like a lot, a lot. everyday a lot.

13) Do you think they will repost this?
probably not... maybe he'll do it mentally.

14) Could you live with this person?
yeah totally

15) Why is this person your number 1?
cuz he's sick

16) How long have you known this person?
8 years

18) Have you ever had a sleepover with this person?
not an overnight one

19) If you ever moved away would you miss this person?
obviously

20) Have you ever done something really stupid or illegal with this person?
it depends how you define stupid or illegal

21) Do you know everything about this person?
nope.

22) Would you date this person’s siblings?
i havent seen his siblings, but maybe if they were hot.

23) Have you ever made something with this person?
im sure we've made something before.

25) Is your he/she on drugs?
tobacco

26) Have you ever worn this person’s clothes?
yzirrrr

27) Does this person wear your clothes?
just my sunnies

28) If it was “freaky friday” would you switch bodies with this person?
pft no

29) Have you ever heard this person sing?
yes, and dance... unfortunately

30) Do you and this person have a saying?
not really. just random words?

31) Do you know this persons facebook password?
he told me it once, but i have since forgot

32) Have you and this person ever gotten into a fight that lasted more than 2 days?
i didnt speak to him for 5 weeks, and it was as if we werent friends.

33.) Have you and this person gone clubbing?
omg no.

35) Do you and this person talk a lot?
yeeeap

36) Do you like this person?
obviously

37) Has this person yelled at you?
yeah, but not seriously

38) Have you and this person got into a fist fight?
pussy cat fights

39) Do you want to go out with this person?
like on the town? sure.

40) Do you want to be friends with them forever?
totally.

you're a dirty girl

so i was looking on facebook, and came across a photo album. The girl in is... well yeah my friend, but damn is she greasy. I really wanna wash, cut and style her hair. Take her for a good skin treatment, and tell her to blot her face with some clean and clear (and under control) oil removing strips. shes just, as onch would say, just filth!

moral, girls take showers, and dont look trashy.

i feel like such a fatty *hand gesture* everyone around me is like working out and getting sexy. it makes me feel like i should work out too, so i can be all hawt and slutty (not greasy and trashy). i wish i could work out and like it, i hate working out. its so lame.

i am currently studying organic and i am kind of getting it. well the lecture notes at least. im gonna start the problem set at 12:30 or 1.

im meeting up with my baybay karimmmmmmsta, we're gna go get coffee. it should be fun. sigh* organic chem.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

damn girl, dont hurt 'em

i miss my momma, she wont be back for another week :(
its retarded man, half my family is like on the other side of the planet.
it is definitely a trip. i miss marvin and marjorie. im way envious of them enjoying the hot weather while im here in the cold.

my hair has been really static-y recently. i googled how to untangle it... but nothing i can do really while im at school.

jealousy is one of the worst feelings. always makes me feel sick.
im such an egotist, its retarded.

my room is still a mess... and i need to do stuff this weekend or i will die.

Monday, November 17, 2008

this is the product of finishing lecture notes



this is my gorgeous friend shawn. LOL

Saturday, November 15, 2008

im a soldier

i always get in trouble at this library. the security guards and administrative people always find me. :(

caroline just went on msn to tell me, my music was too loud. wtffffff. this library is out to get me. honestly... 1st floor is serious.

justin timberlake x tiesto x dna replication

so last night consisted of a lot of driving.
today will consist of a lot of driving.
i hope there is still cake when i get home.
theres a box of pizza, with one slice left in the box in my room.
i found the missing wrapper this morning, hopefully my dad doesnt go through my garbage.

THERE IS NO CAKE.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

right now

my momma just called from asia!

eww now its time to go to work :(

yeah thats right, i said it twice

it's been a while, since ive seen you last.
sadly, it was the last time.
you officially just died.
im crying on the inside.
i'm no longer fine.

hi stranger.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

editing needed

way to be a friend. clearly you are the best.
i feel sick.

vanity insanity

thanks for pretty much ditching me. asshole.

honestly... i've been writing this entry for about 20 minutes now. i wrote a good couple of lines, but erased them because they don't do justice to what i wanna say.

i've come to the conclusion i dont wanna write about you anymore.


you dont mean nothing at all to me


you dont mean nothing at all to me

Monday, November 10, 2008

just add water

its 4 am, and im writing up a lab... and im listening to TI.
my emotions are fucked, and im doing things i probably should do a little thinking about first.
ive been craving water, maybe im still dehydrated from west50 party. i had no clothes on a while ago, but i put on calvins sweater that i borrowed just to run downstairs and grab a bottle of water. so now im sitting here, listening to justice, drinking water, in calvins sweater... doing my lab and blogging... at 4am. calvins sweater smells pretty good. def smells like calvin. i probably look like a total loser sniffing the sleeves of this hoodie, but it smells nice. some parts smell like his condo, other parts his shower gel or whatever cologne he was using. Okay its kind of creepy to write about that stuff, or to even think it to be honest... but im tired and i am bored, and am not excited to write this lab! eeeks.

my hair right now, is totally reminiscent of carla back in the day... like circa 1995. i am totally rocking the pebbles hair-do at the moment. its pretty epic. man, this week is gonna blow.

i will be back later.

hello blogger world.
i went to bed at 5:30ish am, and woke up at like 8:30. Its now 1:30pm, and i finished my lab about 10 minutes ago.
i must be on crack or something, because the sleepiness has not kicked in yet. well i lied, my body is kind of lagging, but that could be due to other things. im going out at two to go and cut trees. Im in leggings and flats... awesome right? Yep, i forgot, but i could really give a fuck... cuz i need at 2 percent. Holla.

I usually sleep in on tuesdays, but im going to wake up early and go to school and start my stats assignment. and read up on 206. school sucks sucks sucks sucks. theres a group of douchebag guys sitting around me... well standing, i wish they would all get shot in the head. They're pretty much talking about every g that walks past them. Earlier they were talking about some game on xbox with castles and money? i dont know. Yay they left. thank god. i have very little tolerance for lamos. esp when they come in packs.

Time for a youtube video.

sickest song to shower to.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

baseball caps and sticks in the snow

there's just something about seeing a grown man break down and cry... that makes me want to stab myself in my chest.

Lo... i love you. I miss you already. I've been missing you.

how meredith grey of you

right now, my headache went away. my body is still slow, and my mouth tastes disgusting. hangovers... honestly.
water tastes so good right now, its retarded. i woke up this morning, fucked up. i woke up naked, but bad mornings always start off with me waking up naked. i threw up plenty, passed out on the bathroom floor, took a shower and barfed some more. my head was pulsing, throbbing almost. i took 2 tylenol, and barfed them out. passed out, and woke up fine. 9am-11:50am...the worst. i clearly drank a few drinks over my threshold... bad idea obvs. i should have just stuck to my girly drinks... tanking beers.. zaa.

im trying to do some of my lab before i go to the funeral home. ugh.

i just ate, and it feels good... but im scared im just going to barf it all out.

i really want bubble tea.

I'm anticipating some serious crying tonight.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

if for you i keep my legs apart


this song is really doing it at the moment. the autoerotique remix is what i have pumping on my itunes at the moment, but i cant decide which one is better.

my emotions are scattered all over the place at the moment.

i tear up at everything around me now.

gaaaah.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

staring out into space

the rollercoaster that is my life, i swear.
too many sharp turns, loops, and steep drops.

X: Hey how's your grandpa?
Carla: He's good.

"i've been to too many funerals"

Irony... are you kidding me.

i hate opening my mouth and talking about when something is killing me inside... it just makes it hurt even more.
it makes it real.
This day is fucked.
Im never going to forget driving, parking at goetz, or walking into the ER.
It feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest, thrown onto the floor and stomped on repeatedly.
i hate hearing the sound of my cousins crying... it burns, stings, and erodes at my very existence.
my eyes are swollen, and are burning. i am all cried out, and exhausted.

Lo, I Love You. and I'll Be Seeing You.
Take Care, and say hi to Inang for me.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

"oh i'm probably just gonna go to the library"

i hate when people do that. when they get all passive aggressive, and you CLEARLY know that there's a problem. i don't get why people can't be a little more up front when it comes to things. I fucking hate girls. All that beating around the bush does, is get you dizzy.

Disclaimer: I am not a Barack Obama Hater. If i were american, I would vote for him.

In other news, Obama won the US presidential election last night. It was pretty much a given. I am very indifferent to politics, especially since i pretty much have no clue about any of it. I realize that whatever decision the states makes, will affect Canada... but damn, it's kind of funny to see how many canadians i see supporting obama, who i am pretty sure didnt give a fuck about the canadian election a few weeks ago. facebook and msn are flooded with obama oriented statuses, and screen names... its ridic. I'm happy for the dude, whatevs, but all these canadian obama fans on my msn list and fb... im pretty sure have no clue about any political aspect, other than the fact Obama is a democrat, and so happens to be black... oh and that about every hipster celebrity with a coke problem, lesbian/gay lifestyle, weapon charges, support him. So tell me, why did you vote for barack obama?

in all honestly, if i could have voted last night, I would have voted for Obama. My reasoning? To be honest, it would be heavily media influenced. How can i not vote for someone Lindsay Lohan blogs about? That and the fact that Republicans in the white house (as of recent) are just fucking up... McCain is Bush 2.0 (well 3.0 if you include the first Bush)... is pretty much reason enough. We need to pull out of this war... that no one has a clue why we are even still fighting. Oh and because my dad is a republican (in theory), sooo i would vote democrat. Oh and because Barack Obama is black, so thats like 2 more points, and lastly, cuz he's apparently bringing change.... Im not really sure if hope is even worth anything now, cuz man kind is fucked... but he we can give it a shot right?

Not to be a pessimist or anything, but just because obama won, doesnt mean shit. The world isn't going to change miraculously. What comes next is gonna be crazy and hectic. Lots of people are gonna be disoriented and confused, really happy or amazingly pissed the fuck off. It's gonna get worse before it gets better. When it comes to this massive surgery that the US of A is about to undergo... no doubt, will somewhere in the middle look like a murder scene... but with fingers crossed will you end up with a fully recovered and healed country. Or you get paralyzed. or you die. Just tune it everyday for the latest updates. Brightside: now people have hope in their country again, and that has to count for something. regardless of my pov on the whole hypocrisy of the canadian perspective of american politics... i'm happy that now americans can finally have some faith in the institution that has failed them for so many years. Change isn't a given, its a goal

Please try your best to interpret the sarcasm... i know, my sarcasm is amazing.


I probably sound like the biggest hippo right now... but in any case, congrats Barack Obama.

Monday, November 3, 2008

would you fuck me?

the first movie scared the shit out of me, and the second one is one of my favorite movies to watch. but both these scenes kill me.



haha and for andrea. do you recognize who the girl in the well is? LOL

Sunday, November 2, 2008

just a taste






a wild night? i wish every night was like halloween on church street

Saturday, November 1, 2008

andrea is such a biter



i found this first. NOT andrea, she doesnt know anything cool
and frankly she's an idiot for smoking up.

the big bang

last night was amazing. ugh, i cant even put into words how much fun i had last night... and the fact that everyone else had such a blast made it even better.
woke up this morning with no hangover, which is an accomplishment in itself.
i love the LGBT community <3

perhaps pictures in a bit.