Sunday, July 27, 2008

let go

so, i have some issues with self esteem sometimes. I've been struggling with weight loss for a while now. In grade 11, and senior year of highschool... i lost alot of weight do to a vegetarian diet and yoga once a week, plus walking the 40 minute walk home almost everyday after school. I still thought i was a bit curvy, and couldnt help but lose a couple of more pounds. Truth be told, id do anything to get back to that weight. Then came first year of university. Bad food habits, poor sleeping habits, and no exercise... well i exercised a bit.. then came midterm or finals, and the exercise had ceased. blam 15 pounds.

ugh, i feel gross, and look gross.

its really starting to bug me now, cuz i cant fit into my grad dress anymore... nor can i even fit into shorts i could wear less than a year ago. to add insult to injury, emily tagged me in a europe photo... which opened pandoras box. I looked at all my pictures from senior year, esp euro pics... and boy was i a hottie mcdottie!

I hate my whole body in general... but im finding it so hard to get back on the exercising horse. yoga isnt the same when i do it alone. and walking just isnt really my thing. hmmm... i dont wanna disclose my weight on this thing... but lets just say it is a lot.

Im planning to lose 20-30 pounds. I might go back on a pescetarian diet, and maybe will even join a yoga studio. i posted my weight on a post it and tacked it onto my wall, just as a reminder to maybe motivate me. I also have 2 pictures of myself, when i was smaller and sexier (heeeeey)... that i posted on my mirror just to provide some added incentive.

Im going to log my progress... if not for you, for myself.

wish me luck!

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