hey. what you need to realize is that i was hurt. you hurt me. you might not think you did. but you did. i hurt you. and im sorry.

i love you always, i'll meet you halfway

:) i know you're dying at how pretty ive become, and can be

i looked pretty last night.. well friday night :)

couldnt cry today because i was sitting in front of my dad, if he were to ask me what was wrong... i probably would have died.

just so you know. i kinnnnnnd of surely resent you. get the fuck out of here.

shots

kind of stoked for my bday.
calvin i hope you can come.

happy thanksgiving.

this year im thankful for my sanity, what little i have left.

this years thanksgiving, pretty bomb. close family, as always. food spread was soooo serious. classic set up. turkey, veggies, mashed taters, bread... stuffing, omg stuffing. usually turkey is dry, but this year... lemme just say... it was bomb as helllllll.... juicy, like biggie status almost. so good. uncles and aunts were stoked. it wasnt even the end of the night, till all that was left was a carcass in shambles. mom saved just enough turkey scraps for her "day after" turkey soup. ill be excited to eat that in a few hours.

after i have a mental breakdown, the silence that rings in my head is always a good opportunity to reflect. i'm going to get through this, things will turn out okay. things may be different, and unexpected... but things will turn out okay. i can do without. i can do.

i am such a bipolar pessimist-optimist

i have an issue with people doing things that they think will "protect me" because i dont want to hear/see it, when in reality all its doing is making you look really shifty.

fuck em.

so, i pushed you away and now i'm left with nothing. you pushed me back, but i deserved it. i wanted this. i wanted you to go away, but you havent. fact is, you're very much there, regardless of how much i just want you gone. if you dont leave, i will. thats what i say. that's what i am doing. im pushing everyone away, because they are affiliated with you.. and i WANTED to be rid of you. but this isnt working. you've tainted my life. my life and my mind. im pushing forward with my hands tied behind my back, and eyes closed. im just expecting to fall. im expecting it to hurt. im living in fear. i know i will eventually crash into a wall, trip on a rock, and that fall will be you. Am i at a point where i want to just rip the bandaid off clean and fast? am i at the point where, all i can wish for is for you to say hello. all i want is for you to say hi. just two letters. not three words. just two letters. pink font and all.