i want to cry because i miss you, but if i start to cry, ill be angry at myself for throwing away my strength and progress it has taken me almost 6 months to build.

i know now that im good enough not to deserve this. not to have to feel like this. not to love to so much that i almost hate you. i deserve someone that will stay. i am happy that you're okay. and im happy about your job... and i want you go, and be happy and not come back.

silly girl. tricks are for kids.

rare finds

i made the mistake of sleeping with my bestfriend. in short things got awkward, and i cut him out of my life... havent had contact for almost a year now. although there are no longer romantic feelings i miss him as my bestfriend what do i do?

Tell him. I cut people out of my life a lot because I get hurt too easily. So once something feels weird I make them leave before it gets any worse. And then I want them back later. And usually when you are missing someone the person you are missing misses you, the same amount. I'd talk to him. I bet he wants to talk to you too.

(via sarah morrison formspring)

i cant make you love me.

i have never heard of the name bonnie raitt before... but when i heard the title of the song... i had a feeling it was probably one of those classic songs, that i probably had heard before, just didnt remember what it was. sure enough. it was. didn't know it at first, but once that chorus kicked in... a little tingle in my body was set off. probably heard this bad boy, in the background of some love flick i saw back in the day or something. nonetheless, i have become captivated by this song. this song is so beautiful, it makes the insides of my chest weak, in the most relaxing way.

the reason i started listening to it, was because of a show called 1 girl 5 gays (that airs on MTVcanada sunday nights at 11). the premise of the show, is basically a panel, consisting of 5 of gay guys and a 1 girl holding a discussion about various topics. On this particular show, it was basically 20 questions, one of which was "what are the best love songs," to which one asked "best love songs that are like hilarious? or actual love songs," to which he answered mariah carey for hilarious, and best love songs acceptable to play at your wedding... the beatles. One of the other gay guys, said the best love song, he actually connects with is this one, I cant make you love me, by bonnie raitt. he goes on to explain the passion, and emotion the song emits, and how when listening to it, it evokes emotions out of you too. i fell in love with the description, and was not disappointed when i youtubed the song a few seconds later.

i have never truly been in love... but if i was, and was let down... listening to this song would probably shatter me, but build be back up. i cant help but wonder how many hearts have broken listening to this womans voice and these words, probably several. it's a sad thought to think.

anyway. this song is amazing.