Monday, April 27, 2009

leave me be


i could go off on too many tangents to try and explain what this song does for me

Saturday, April 25, 2009

eating empanadas

last night was definitely a night.
all the attention was hilarious, overwhelming, scary and addicting.
definitely a confidence booster.
kill me

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

HIATUS.
alone time, here i come.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

all the small things

Hutch... says: (12:27:33 AM)
anywho love u are one of the greatest friends and ppl i kno but i juss thou id tel u that before i go

hurts my heart a bit

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

"you weren't out for me, were you." "no."

this jealousy is going to be the death of me, seriously.
i hate how i cant be awake.

dont take this the wrong way... things are better.. its just late at night, when im wide awake.. all i can really do is go crazy.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

dr. jekyll

i did something very bad last night..

In life things may not always go right for you. in those times just leave it behind cuz, sometimes you gotta play the game. Just to survive, without losing yourself is a fight, it's true. It takes time. Dont have all the answers. No matter how hard it gets hold on to whats inside. Don't ever let nobody break you down. Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart.

Monday, April 13, 2009

out of sight and out of mind

just when i thought everything was starting to settle... another rock was thrown into my pond, and the water is rippling like crazy.
so sick of crying over this. its ridiculous.
too many bad things were said... but in my eyes, you're still walking under the light.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

laughing out loud

'till the burning in my chest subsides,
that's how long i'll need to hide.

it's only saturday

Thursday, April 9, 2009

baby, thats just me

at the risk of sounding cocky... sometimes knowing you are the best, isn't enough.

anyway, people are starting to bug me... i cant stand to be around people. negative to that one.. certain people?... most people? yeah. whatever. cant make everyone happy. and everyone cant make me happy. distance and persistence.

im staying in tonight... looking at parts of the body. great.


i love demi lovato

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

summer list

as exam time is approaching, it is only right that i start daydreaming about summer.

My personal summer to do list
  • reach my goal weight
  • basically look sexy all the time
  • hardly wear pants
  • hardly wear socks
  • go to parks
  • buy more bathing suits
  • go swimming
  • go to the beach
  • go to a cottage
  • get my lip tattoo
  • hang out with my cousins
  • chill in my backyard
  • light fires
  • hook up with boys
  • make some bad decisions
  • get waaaasted
things will be added

i dont wanna go to anatomy

Do you think its cute when a boy says 'i love you'?
if they mean it... and i know they do.. then sure.

Why aren't you going out with the person you like?
thats a good question

Can you recall the last time you loved someone?
all the time

Are you cheating on someone right now?
nope

Anyone of the opposite sex been on your mind lately?
the opposite sex or just sex... is always on my mind

Will you be in a relationship next month?
who knows? i dont.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
natalie

Anyone you're giving up on?
not giving up. just caring less.

Are you taller than your mom?
yes, omg my momma is so small

Is anything upsetting you right now?
my name is carla carbonell... there is always something upsetting me

What's the farthest away from home you have ever been?
europe or the Philippines... i cant calculate which one is further... cuz you know.. the globe is all circular and shit

Do you hate being alone?
i love it

Are you shy?
depends who i am with

What do you think about most?
a whole lot of things. right now... school, sex, boys, family, friends. the usual.

When was the last time you cried?
i cant really remember... but i would say sometime last week?

Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?
a few people can do that to me actually

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
yes in asia

When you see a foggy window do you feel the need to draw or write on it?
yes, either that... or i get grossed out.

What kind of pants are you wearing?
tricot leggings

Are you in a good mood right now?
im tired, and listening to the fray... you tell me

Has a boy/girl ever called you babe or baby?
yes, it was awkward

Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?
thankfully yes

How many times have you been to the emergency?
for myself, none yet (yn) crossing my fingers for soon! (just for any other reason OTHER than pregnancy)
for other people... a few times

Who are you disappointed in right now?
a couple of people. i dont name drop

Who was the last person that pissed you off?
same answer as prior

What are your plans for tomorrow?
school and sleep

What are some things you need to tell someone?
theres a lot, but i would rather just forget it

What are you doing tonight?
studying and sleeping

Have you been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing?
not caught

Monday, April 6, 2009

astronauts forget me not

In the words of one of my bestfriends J.Hutch.

"NIGGA YOU FUCKED UP"

Sunday, April 5, 2009

attractive orgasm noises

i have a really fucked up obsession with The Dream tracks



i think my hips disconnect from my body when i listen to this song. cant help the hip-rollin'.
WHOA-DEY.

i went to church today, and during the offering of our own petitions... i asked for multiple people to fail, other people to realize, and for me to die sooner than later. not being sadistic... i was being serious. petitions are not like wishes... i can say them out loud, and they can still come true.

displacement

i kind of love the drive from mississauga to brampton, or rather my house to shawn's. It takes about 20 minutes and a bit to get there, but it is a good time.

I thought I was gonna be bored for most of the night, but surprisingly i had a pretty sweet time. Other than the initial awkwardness, which i dont really care for anymore, it was pretty rad. The mix of a new setting, and new people was so refreshing. As usual, it was more guys than girls (my natural habitat)... i would basically consider it a sausagefest, cuz the other girls there were basically non-existent and didnt talk. Obviously Jessy and I were the coolest chicks there... it showed.

now point my point review of the night
  • boys playing streetfighter... i hate that game
  • greg eating all the chips
  • failblog on my iPod
  • kitchen conversation
  • daft punk dance party via kitchen
  • reggae hits mixed cd
  • carla and jessy heart to hearts as always <3
  • boys drinking
  • boys with cute tshirts and belt buckles
  • boys telling me how to make an alcoholic beverage that tastes exactly like dr pepper
  • having the boys circulate my hat around the house
  • making boys feel uncomfortable by telling them to flex
  • making boys feel uncomfortable by telling them to rap
  • me making fun of the other girls...out loud... while the cd player changed songs
  • niko and jessy getting embarrassed because i made a comment about the girls...out loud, while the cd player changed songs
  • making korean bbq plans with boys, since me and jessy cant drive on highways
  • having the cutest boy kind of sorta flirt with you... but deciding not to drag him into the bathroom, because that isnt classy. LOL.
  • cute ride home, sped the whole way.
  • good night. goodnight.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

it aint the dog in the fight, its the fight in the dog



WHOA-DEY. i think i need to watch this. them black dudes be kinna sexxxay ;) LOL

Friday, April 3, 2009

Just Remember Where Your Loyalty Lies.

I have no idea if i should even think this way... but i cant help but feel that there is something going on. My imagination tends to run wild, and this time is no exception. I've tried countless times to try and leave it be, but it keeps coming back. It's kind of hard to leave something, if there is always a constant reminder dragging my mind back. To add insult to injury, i even had a dream about it. It wasnt pleasant. Im doing everything in my way possible to make sure i am not in some bullshit situation... but clearly that isnt the case. I have tried to make other people comfortable, by sacrificing how i feel... and i kind of wish i didnt. This feeling is gonna get the best of me, and believe me, im trying so hard so that it wont. Whatever.

School is rough.. a few more weeks. then hell... then i can breathe, then the alcohol will be pouring.

ANYWAY, it's friday. im not going to school.
Im gonna sing my heart out and get drunk. Stop by if you want, my house is empty till 3. After 3, we can sing with my parents! I'll probably be intoxicated. It should be a good time. Andrea stop taking tylenols. Advils where it's at. LOL.

Working out at 5 or 6 wooo.


This actually... really... turns me on.